Before anyone starts, this is not a rant against all the men in all the world. Just against a solid few who just seem pretty incompetent and ignorant of the rest of the human race.
It all started with the walrus in the pool at my gym. I say walrus, but I mean plural (What is the plural of walrus? Walruses? Walrusi?). I’m getting pretty sick of the older men at my gym who launch themselves in the swimming pool, which is pretty small to start with, and start swimming furiously up and down like their lives depend on it and as though no-one else is there. It is ridiculous! I feel like Moses is parting the Red Sea next to me and I’m being washed over Egypt in the swell! It just shows how unaware they are of the small person next to them who is sticking to a dainty breaststroke so as not to slap them in the face with a huge wave every time they come up for air. I was especially unimpressed when one chap came up for air and turned in my direction to pant all over me – gross.
Then there was the chump who thought it was a great idea to send pervy messages on Facebook, ending with a picture of his nether parts – why?! Completely unfounded, unrequited and unnecessary! I had never spoken to the guy before, never met him before and he didn’t even live in the same country, yet felt it was appropriate to ask for sexual favours and display his winky on the screen. And a shrimpy winky it was. Just embarrassing really, but not much different from the idiots who smack girls on the arse on a night out, or the ‘lads’ who make suggestive comments when we are minding our own business. Do they really think you are going to turn around and say “Oh god, I just can’t resist, take me now!”?!
And we mustn’t forget the drunks or the ket-heads who rail around the clubs and festivals making a scene, causing fights and ruining people’s nights. How many of us have accidentally been in the way when a fight kicks off in the street and have been the one to end up with a cut eye or a bumped head? The idiots who decide to stub a fag out on someone’s jacket or shoulder, or the ones who blow smoke in others’ faces. And of course, we cannot forget the complete scumbags I witnessed pissing all over festival-goers’ feet as they danced in a tent at V Festival and laughing about it! Just why?!
There are the usual dipsticks who decide that asking for directions is beneath them or that it is just silly and that they can figure out their own way. They even refuse to listen to the sat-nav lady leading to a 25-mile detour around the M25! Definitely what you want when you’ve got a three hour drive ahead of you and you’ve already been on the road for hours. And one of my favourites is the fools who say they can’t wrap presents, the ones who use foil or don’t even bother to use Sellotape. There really isn’t an excuse, it is very simple to fold a bit of paper and tape it down. It doesn’t look big, clever or funny to not bother – it simply looks lazy and selfish that you haven’t made the effort for the people who love and support you all year long.
Just a little something I had to get off my chest after seeing some pretty silly men making fools of themselves lately – don’t be fooled, it’s no sexist post when I’ve witnessed every single one of these. And I know that women have just as many faults, but these just seem so senseless and selfish and to demonstrate a lack of respect for others around them. I am glad to say I know that most men are not like this and that my life is filled with great men, both family and friends, but it seems a shame there are quite so many fools out there letting the rest down.